Too Young to Know?

Yesterday, several of my students got into an argument and a girl got so upset about it, I had to step in to intervene. Upon my investigation, I found out they were quarrelling over some messages that the boys had written on two sheets of paper pasted at the back of the classroom. I looked at the paper and found nothing amiss, no graffiti on it at all. The girl took out something that looked like a laser pointer to shine on the paper and only then was I able to see the messages. They were “XXXXX love you” and “f**k you”…those all too familiar words again.

Yes, my 12 and 13 year-olds are beginning to be curious about the adult world and experimenting with words they often hear around them but have no real understanding of their meanings and implications. The boys were just teasing the girls but girls being the more sensitive and mature, took the teasing seriously and got mad, that’s how the argument started.

First thing to educate them was the four-letter word. I asked the boys if they knew its meaning and they did so my next question was, did they know the minimum legal age in order to have sex in Singapore and they replied “18” …hmm…I thought it was 16, anyway, if it is 18, better still. I told the boys, if they use the four-letter word on another boy, what would it imply, they replied, it meant they were gays…good answer again. The boys do remember what I’ve taught them before…very good. Anyway, I reminded them not to use those words so loosely.

I did not tell the kids that they cannot be involved in any relationships. Instead, I told them that they have a big life ahead of them and there is plenty of time for them to do a lot of things later in life so there’s no need for them to rush into anything now. Their focus at this point in time should still be? “Their studies” they answered… good. I think that’s about all I can tell them. The rest I believe should be the job of their parents.

This world is progressing so quickly, sometimes I feel I am lagging behind the pace. We no longer can expect the young to follow the way we were brought up. We must be more receptive to their needs and just be more alert to make sure they don’t get into trouble while their needs are being met. Sex education and teaching the young ones to protect themselves is a must.

I had a conversation with someone in her late teens last night and that is exactly what she told me. I agree with her that the more we try to stop the young from doing something, all the more they would want to rebel and try it out. So to use force on them is not going to work, only through sensible talking and education may we be able to help them.

I find that parents today are really so different from my days. One parent was sharing with me yesterday about how she educated her son on the subject of runaway kids. She asked her son if he would run away from their home and he replied that he would if his parents gave him too much pressure. Guess what the mother told him? She told him that there’s no need for him to sneak away quietly. If he should feel very unhappy at home and want to leave, she’ll open the door wide and let him go because she wouldn’t want him to be so unhappy while staying with them.

Very different way of parenting right? During my days, if I were to run away from my home, my father will probably hunt me down and break my leg so that I don’t do it again…time has changed…children need to be educated, not disciplined and we adults need to accept and adapt. I must remind myself about this when I am disciplining the kids…or young adults.

ps: I just saw a notestix in my kitchen written by my 5-year-old niece who is only in K1. The message read, “I love you. XXX and XXX” The XXX were my niece’s name and her friend’s name…LOL! Must start educating kids from young…yeah…must remember to do that!