To Quit or Not to Quit

My pace this week has been quite slow, projects in progress have all been completed or gone to print while materials for new projects have not come in yet. I’ve finished translating all the SF2 scripts that have been written so far so these few days have been pretty relaxing. Can you see me shaking my legs? You people must be jealous right? Well, the perks of being your own boss, hehe! I could even be in Thailand now if not for the election tomorrow and a new project that just came in.

I’ve not been working for people for like 13 years already, since 1993. That’s a long time huh? A lot of people will envy my position but friends close to me would know that I am in fact thinking of giving up the business and just get a simple, permanent job. Why? Why give up the freedom after all these years when everyone else is trying to get out of their jobs?

There are several reasons. Firstly, I feel that I no longer have the drive to run a lucrative business. I give in to my clients so easily nowadays. Whenever they press down on my charges, I’ll just agree to it. In fact, I even ask my regular clients what is their budget and I’ll work based on their budget. I no longer have the desire nor heart to squeeze the maximum margin out of my clients. In other words, I don’t earn a lot. Secondly, I miss having long breaks and collecting bonuses during year end! Thirdly, age is catching up on me so if I want to get a job, I better do it quickly before I’ve got little or no market value. The medical benefits I’ll enjoy as an employee is also beginning to look attractive to me now.

This idea of getting a job is not something that occurred out of the blue. I’ve been toying with it for quite a while already, and it will always appear on my mind whenever it’s my lull period. But I notice that whenever I start thinking and talking about it, projects will start streaming in again and I’ll get so busy the idea gets shelved again. I begin to wonder if it’s my G-plan that is not allowing me to get a job? Then again, I also wonder what kind of job will be suitable for me after being out of the market for so long? I do know I don’t need a challenging, high-powered job! That’s for sure. Don’t need the stress. But the job has to be something I will enjoy and don’t mind sticking to for the next 10 years at least. Will I be able to find such a job?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I’m not enjoying my graphic design work anymore. I really love my design work because it is one of those rare interesting jobs whereby every project is different, unlike most mundane, repetitive office work. I don’t deny that being my own boss gives me more flexibility, especially in taking care of my voluntary work responsibilities. I can leave my office as early as 4 pm to go prepare for my lesson which starts at 6.30 pm. Which job will allow me to do that? When I’m not in the mood to work, I can just pack up and go for a cup of coffee at a cafe, meet friends for tea or go to the library to read some books. Which boss will permit you to do that. So would I be able to adapt if I have to go back to a routine job, working from 9 to 5 everyday? Will I be able to withstand having to answer to a boss again after all these years?

I need to seriously think about this. Friends, have you got any advice for me?