Weak At Heart

As far as I can remember, I’ve been told my fortune only twice in my life and both fortune tellers told me the main health problem I’ll have to take note in my life is my heart. I know it is silly to believe these people but I’ve actually been monitoring my heart a little. Like when I drank two cups of coffee at one go, I noticed my heart palpitating and I couldn’t focus on what I was doing.

When I completed my jog this morning, I felt something not right in me but couldn’t tell what was wrong. I felt weak and a little out of breath. Hyper-ventilation? I don’t know. It just didn’t feel right. Throughout the entire day, even now as I write, I feel weak and tired. My whole body seems to ache. Maybe I’m just physically tired. Could it be stress? Insufficient sleep? Or a bout of flu is about to hit me? Too much blogging? I’m clueless.

While chatting with a friend today, I told her about my condition and suspicion. I told her if she doesn’t see me online for a while, maybe something had happened to me. My heart may have failed. She got worried. Well, we never know for sure right? It is possible. I do remember I almost blacked out once in the shower after a squash game. So I am not joking about my heart condition. I have reasons for my suspicion.

When I was teaching tonight, I didn’t have the energy as last week. I was a little impatient and it showed when the twins weren’t focussing. I kind of raised my voice a little and the only girl in the class noticed. She seems to be the only one who notices my mood. Hmmm...females are more sensitive huh?

Anyway, I was teaching the class possessive nouns and the twins just couldn’t get it. For regular plural nouns which end with an ‘s’, I told them to add an apostrophe (’) and for singular nouns, add an apostrophe ‘s’ (‘s) but they just could not get it! One of them wrote the apostrophe on top of the ‘s’. Then he wrote the apostrophe in the wrong direction like (‘). He also had the tendency to write the ‘s’ first before the apostrophe...a sign of dyslexia? Looks like it to me. Patience…patience…I kept telling myself.

Around 7.45pm, when I was about to give up teaching and just wanted to drill them on their mutiplication table, a volunteer came in to help. Phew…! Thanks Ying Li, you really saved me. I was so relieved. Finally I could sit down to have a rest. The last 45 minutes passed quickly, lessons ended. Thank goodness.

As I’m writing my blog now, I noticed I kept burping. Now could it be gas instead? Yup, maybe it’s my gastric. I just took my blood pressure and it read 125/85 and pulse was 72. It’s normal right? So maybe it’s gastric lah! Whatever…Please don’t ask me to go see a doctor ok? I’m one of those who avoid doctors as far as possible.

ps: I really am very weak at heart…really. I’ve been exhausted by an unhappy incident recently. I’m managing it and have put it down but it has taken a toll on my heart. I guess I can’t take emotional stress as well as I thought I could…Strong on the outside but weak on the inside. My weakness. Now you know.

Ok, I’m going to sleep now. So…so…tired. Goodnight everyone.