The Art of Bridge Building

Today, I would again like to share something I read a few years ago about building relationships. In order to have an effective relationship with anyone, whether a family member, friend, lover, or colleague, you need both parties to work cohesively, hand in hand, towards a common objective.

Problems always set in when we think our opinions or answers are exclusive and conclusive. Life is a process, not an event. We must learn to be patient, accept delays, interruptions, detours and the unexpected. Most importantly, learn to let go of disappointments.

Any bridge built in a hurry can never be strong nor will it last. Develop patience. Lay a strong foundation. Take a step at a time. Moment by moment. You will achieve your equilibrium. ^_^

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Building Bridges

To have a fulfilling relationship, be it kinship, spiritual friendship or love, you need two to build two halves of a bridge towards each other, across the chasm which both need to cross. A relationship does not begin with you alone, you need someone else. Yes, it takes two hands to clap. Without each party contibuting, co-linking, one cannot complete the bridge fast enough for the relationship to be meaningful. It is not impossible for a one-way bridge builder to connect after tremendous efforts, but a healthy relationship is an equal partnership and process of coming together. It is the meeting of each other “halfway” across the bridge, not meeting at someone else’s half of the bridge. It is mutual acceptance without feelings of compromise. The mutual bridging is symbolic of the union of minds - the basic foundation of any relationship. It is the bridging of deep communication and trust. The building of this metaphorical bridge is never-ending - as people change all the time. Bridging needs to be a constant and conscientious process.

If you are building a one-way bridge, beware - as it could be a symptom of obsession or “fatal” attraction, which might lead to exhaustion and disappointment. There is a limit of how far one can bridge if the other party refuses to “mirror-bridge” in return. He/she might even refuse to accept your bridging into his/her world. If your significant other is slow at bridging, you might need to revise your bridging and its “architecture” (ie. quality of your understanding and giving) to troubleshoot the problems. If he/she has yet to begin any bridging despite much of your efforts, you should perhaps consider letting go…at least for the time being? Yes, it takes two to tango.