Living a Life that Matters

I read this book today at the library. Below is a segment that I would like to share with everyone. Do let me know if you agree with this author or have a different view.

Living a Life That Matters - Resolving the conflict between conscience and success, by Rabbi Harold S. Kushner

We can all remember words we spoke or things we did when we were angry that we felt justified in doing at the time and now wish we could take back, or we at least wish we could convince people that those words and deeds don't accurately reflect the kind of people we are.

Are people basically good except when desperation, fear, or anger drive them to override the voice of conscience and do things they don't believe in? Or are people basically mean and selfish, waiting only for the opportunity to get away with wickedness or for someone to give them permission to cast off the restraints of decency?

Sometimes people hurt and cheat each other to feel powerful, to cure their fear of insignificance. People who may be insecure about their importance in the grand scheme of things, give in to the urge to demonstrate their ability to make a difference.

What kind of person do we want to be?

Are we naturally good and pure until external circumstances compromise our goodness? Or are we naturally weak and deceitful, needing conscience or outside authority to keep us in line? The author thinks we are both. He sees every human being as having good and bad tendencies, impulses to charity and impulses to selfishness, the desire to be truthful and the desire to lie. These tendencies are in constant tension within us and would explain why good people can be corrupted by the prospect of financial gain or led astray by anger, and why criminals can display affection and loyalty.

Good people will do good things, lots of them, because they are good people. They will do bad things because they are human. Sometimes the angel wins and sometimes the angel loses. With luck, we will not be overwhelmed by guilt when the egoistical impulse defeats the angel, and we will understand that the victory is temporary, not permanent, when the angel wins.

The author quoted a native American tribal leader describing his own inner struggles. He said, "There are two dogs inside me. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time." Someone asked him which dog usually wins, and he answered, "The one I feed most."

My afterthoughts:

I don’t think I’m an evil person. I truly try to live my life now with only compassion. But I have a weakness that I know of and it is causing me a lot of mental suffering. That weakness is my ego…my ‘I’, ‘my’, ‘me’. It is this ‘devil’ in me that makes me say things I don’t mean and causes my anger to surface over and over again. How do I get rid of this ego? I want to shake it off but it clings to me like a leech. I know I am just a human and fallible like everyone else. I should be more patient with myself, I know that. But today, I just feel very frustrated with this nagging thought in my mind, my inner struggle……sigh!