Blind dog at a retreat

Last weekend, I went on my second retreat for this year. Was in Pengerang from Saturday morning till Monday morning. The routine was the same as the one I attended earlier in March. Lots of sitting to watch my monkey mind and naturally, lots of pain in the legs again. Sleeping was still a problem. The curvature of my spine just could not adapt to the bedding condition at the retreat. But I took every opportunity to nap or lie down for a while whenever we had some rest time. That helped relieve the tiredness caused by the lack of sleep.

This retreat was led by Zen Master Wu Bong, the first American student of ZMSS. I first met him a couple of days before the retreat at the zen centre. I was quite surprise to see someone so “ordinary” because most of the zen teachers I have met so far have seemed so stern. The highlight of my retreat must have been the short interview I had with him. Honestly, I wasn’t too keen to go for the interview and was quietly glad that no one told me to go on the first day. But on the second day, there was no avoiding it. The interview was conducted according to our sitting arrangement and so I went, a little reluctantly. Why? Because until then I’ve no clear idea what’s to be achieved out of those interviews. Open mouth already wrong…so why ask? Hit the floor when a riddle is asked…but why hit? When do I stop hitting? All these thoughts kept popping up, swirling in my mind while I was meditating and waiting for my turn to go into the interview room.

The interview went something like this…
I bowed to ZMWB and sat down. He said good afternoon to me and I reciprocated. He then asked me to point out my name on the name list and asked me how many interviews I’ve had. I said it was my first for that retreat and my third experience. He began the interview by asking me, “What is Buddha?” I hit the floor instantaneously. “Good.” He continued by asking me, “When a monk asked Un-Mun Zen Master "What is Buddha?" he replied "Dry shit on the stick." What did he mean by that?” I paused for a split of a second to digest what he asked then I hit the floor again and said don’t know. He said this time round he could see I was thinking before answering and should have kept a don’t know mind, just hit the floor. I kind of interrupted him and asked, “Do I just keep hitting the floor? But when do I stop hitting?” His reply, “Cut off all thinking. Keep the mind free, just don’t know.” He told me to work on that when I’m meditating, only don’t know and who am I? I nodded but at that moment, my mind was reacting and a thought appeared, “There they go again…the same teaching…only don’t know, just hit the floor. But why???”

He asked me to keep practising and said we’ll chat again another time. I bowed and left the interview room to go back to my sitting. Before I reached my cushion, suddenly it struck me…why was I trying so hard to understand the purpose of the interview and the significance of hitting the floor? By thinking and perceiving that I must do everything with understanding, I failed to see nor hear what was being taught. The teacher was trying to pour tea into my teacup but it was filled to the brim with my thoughts and opinions. How can any tea be poured into my cup? I was but a blind dog at the retreat. >_<

Here’s a short Chinese animation on the teaching about the overflowing teacup: Link