Me Meditate? You Gotta Be Kidding!

Who would have thought that a hot-headed and impatient gal like me would one day be interested in meditation. It's something I regard as mystical, quite far-fetched and never on my agenda because I associate meditation with a loin-cloth wrapped Indian swarmi with long beard and unkempt hair hibernating all-year round in some remote cave! Well, thanks to a persistent friend who bugged me till I said yes, I attended a free meditation course in Nov 2002 conducted by Dr KK Tan. In fact, by the time I agreed to go, it was already the second lesson.

KK, a medical doctor/pathologist by training, is a meditation instructor with more than 25 years of experience. The course I attended was made possible by a kind lady by the name of Doris Ang. She had been renting community halls for 10 weeks yearly for several years prior to 2002 so that hundreds of people a year could learn and benefit from the experience of KK Tan. As a family life educator, she felt the stress level in Singapore was really worrying and meditation was one good way to help people de-stress.

I can't recall much about my first lesson but I remembered clearly there was no religious propaganda, only pure sharing of meditation practice. Well, I somehow got hooked on this simple practice of focussing on my breathing and went back for more, missing not a single of the balance 8 lessons! In fact, I went back again the following year. Sadly, KK decided that was to be his last year teaching in Singapore due to his age and other reasons. Wasn't I lucky to have benefitted not once but twice from him? I really owe it to the friend who bugged me to attend the course with him.

Now, what then is meditation? It's been given many names like Chan, Zen, Jhana...But what is it? One definition says it's "the moment when one thought leaves before another thought arises" and that is what I perceive it to be. I was taught one-pointed concentration and that focal point was my breathing. When random thoughts arise, observe them, let them pass, go back again to the breathing. Sounds simple? Then try it! As a beginner meditator, I shall not dwell further on the essence of what meditation is or I will end up misguiding people! Anyone interested in the subject should learn from a qualified instructor or read up books written by truly experienced meditators.

But I do want to share on how meditation has changed me. It was really, really tough in the beginning. I needed a lot of self-discipline to keep going and I mean everyday I had to do it! The moment I was lazy and skipped practice once or twice, I'll be struggling with my monkey mind the next time I sat down. But when I persevered, it became a routine, a pleasure, a must and eventually, an addiction!

So how has it helped me? 1) I've not had a night of insomnia ever since I started meditating. 2) I'm now a more disciplined person and am able to keep to certain routines like waking up early for a jog on alternate days. 3) I feel less lethargic and am able to focus better on my work and tasks that involved concentration, such as reading. 4) By being aware of my breathing, I am gradually observing more about myself, like my feelings, whether I'm happy, sad or angry, and my thoughts.

I can go on and on but I think meditation is not really something you can understand just by talking about it. You gotta practice it to internalise it, to appreciate it. And I can assure you, it's neither mystical nor far-fetched! Oh...and no, I don't wear a loin-cloth when I meditate!

After 3 years and 5 months, I still meditate every night before I sleep and sometimes in the morning when I have the time.

...Interested? You know what I'm going to say, "Just do it!"

ps: KK Tan may not be teaching meditation in Singapore anymore but he has a website with many interesting articles on meditation and spirituality. Go read them at: htpp://www.kktanhp.com