Post-dating appointments with friends

I was clearing my old emails today and stumbled upon an interesting newsletter that was forwarded to me more than two months ago, written by a former school teacher. In it she mentioned that “Singaporeans generally use busyness as an excuse not to see their friends more often”. She said that gatherings with friends are seemingly being post-dated nowadays, requiring at least one to two months of planning before it can be realised. She felt that there is something wrong with our lives if we have to resort to such kind of planning for fun and friendship.

Honestly, I face this situation too every time I try to arrange anything for a group of friends. Sometimes not even a group, just for three persons and it has to be planned a month ahead. And more often than not, after all that planning, the date may still get postponed or some people will still be unable to turn up on the date of the appointment.

This problem doesn’t just occur among friends, it also happens in families. I know of a couple who bring their kid to visit their parents only once a month. I can imagine the necks of the grandparents must have stretched a few extra centimetres every month waiting to see their little grandchild.

We live in such a small island and are a mere minutes away from each other by car yet we have so much difficulty arranging personal appointments. Are we really so busy or caught up with our work and own families that we simply cannot put them down and have to resort to such post-dated planning?

Two years ago, I got to know a number of overseas friends. We may live miles and miles apart from each other. But to date, I’ve already met up with most of them, whether in Singapore, their country or a third country. Some have even met me several times. I must admit that me being self-employed and single with little or no commitment does give me much more flexibility with my time. But I think at the end of the day, it’s also up to the individual how much we want to do it.

I am arranging to meet up with my dear friend from the US soon. Yes, it may be another post-dated appointment but I hope nothing pops up last minute that will affect the appointment because I don’t intend to miss it.

By the way, I have no intention of using this post to accuse anyone of not trying hard enough to meet up for gatherings. I just want to prompt everyone to think about this issue. Could there really be something wrong with our lives…if we simply don’t have time for friendship?